Real-World vs. Virtual Relationships

With the exponential growth of technology in the past decade, relationships have transformed and expanded in ways that were previously impossible. There is new opportunity to add connection to your life, through relationships with people across the globe and apart of different cultures, because of the accessibility of communication through technology. This opportunity is beneficial in ways that accommodate social anxiety and increase multicultural education and connection. But is this skewing the human perspective and reliance on relationships in a harmful way?

            In his book The Anxious Generation, Jonathan Haidt (2024) argues yes, virtual relationships are taking a toll on how humans communicate and form relationships in the real-world. Haidt characterizes both real-world relationships and virtual relationships with 4 contrasting features. Real-world relationships are embodied, synchronous, use one-to-one or one-to-several communication, and have a high bar for entry and exit. Whereas virtual relationships are disembodied, asynchronous, use one-to-many communication, and have a low bar for entry and exit. The biggest difference he notes is the amount of commitment that is required to make such a relationship work. Real-world relationships require vulnerably and management of connection, time, and emotions. Virtual relationships, where people have the choice to hide their true identity, can be escaped and forgotten when instances arise that call for management of the relationship.

            In a world that is becoming more dependent on technology, it is possible for someone to find more connection and fulfillment in their lives virtually rather than in the real-world. But relying on virtual interactions is not enough to build our innate skills of forming relationships with other humans. Prioritizing real-world relationships will provide a sense of fulfillment and self-growth opportunities not available through virtual relationships. We can be thankful for the expanding opportunities technology continues to provide, but it is important to not rely on it too much for social fulfillment. 

            If you wish to learn more about how to structure your relationships away from the virtual world, feel free to contact us at Olive Branch Counseling Associates at 708-633-8000! Our professional counselors provide a variety of services both in-person at our office located at 6819—167^th St. in Tinley Park, IL 60477 and via telehealth.

Myleigh Halmon, undergrad intern, 2025

Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc.

Haidt, J. (2024). The anxious generation: How the great rewiring of childhood is causing an

            epidemic of mental illness. Penguin Random House.