It is critically important during these times to stay close in our relationships with our loved ones. Ever since the beginning of the pandemic, isolation and loneliness bears a strong burden on individuals because of the lack of contact and communication. Most healthy relationships rely on sources of strength linked to shared similarities, friendships, individuality, comfort, and many other factors. Unfortunately, we all have a negativity bias. We, as individuals, tend to focus more on the negative parts of our experiences particularly when it comes to something as intimate as relationships.
This negativity allows for us to be more critical of our relationships than usual. For example, focusing on what your partner doesn’t do instead of what they do for you and for the relationship. More examples include taking for granted the good times (memories, laughter, inside jokes, etc.) and instead focusing on the problems (insensitivity, immaturity, moods, etc.). When problems are all you see in a relationship, that’s all you feel your relationship is.
When we spend so much time analyzing what is wrong in our relationships and what is wrong with our relationships we become blind to realizing what’s making it work. When spending time worrying about the wrong things, there is no time left or set aside to appreciate what’s going right. Here are a couple of pillars of healthy relationships that research suggests are key to a satisfying, lasting bond—some of these may even appear in your own romantic relationships; we just need to clean our glasses to see it J.
- You can be yourself
- You are each others best friend
- You feel comfortable, close, and safe
- You are more alike than different
- You feel like a team
- They make you a better person
- The power is shared; it is not one sided
- You trust each other
Jr., D. G. W. L. (2021, April 7). 10 Underappreciated Sources of Relationship Strength. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-psychology-relationships/202104/10-underappreciated-sources-relationship-strength.
Written by: Abrea, 2021 Undergraduate Intern
Want to talk to someone who can help? If you would like to speak to a professional counselor or psychologist about this or other negative thoughts and are in the Chicagoland area, please feel free to contact Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc. at 708-633-8000. We are located at 6819 West 167th Street in Tinley Park, Illinois 60477.