Getting Our Bodies Back Blog Series: Blame and Inner Critic Pt.6

In the previous blog, I introduced the difference between feedback and criticism. In Part Six, I will address blame and our inner critic.

Blame and Burden

According to Caldwell, taking responsibility for our actions and for what we have done wrong is essential to regaining our power. It allows us to accept ourselves and learn from our mistakes. Rather than reacting defensively, we can take a step back, own our actions, and grow from them. Taking responsibility is part of the owning phase I discussed in the moving cycle.

Burden, on the other hand, is not the same as taking responsibility. It is taking all the responsibility and carrying it with us. We might want to protect the other person by taking on their part, but this does not serve anyone. With the intent to protect, we take away the other person’s power to be responsible and the opportunity to learn and heal from their mistakes.

Inner Critic

Our inner critic lives inside our minds and tries to protect us from harm. According to Caldwell, it uses control, judgment, and blame to keep us from fully being present and from showing up as our authentic selves. The inner critic can appear in different ways, sometimes subtly, and at other times harsh and intense.

An example of the inner critic at work is during  social situations. Imagine you are in a group of friends, and you struggle to speak up, but you do. Later, when you get home, you find yourself replaying the conversation over and over in your mind. Your inner critic might tell you that what you said was wrong, or that you should have said something differently.

The inner critic is trying to protect you from embarrassment or from damaging your reputation. However, instead of helping, it may discourage you from socializing or speaking out in the future. In this situation, we can acknowledge our inner critic, recognize its intention to protect us, and gently bring our awareness back to the present rather than allowing it to control our behavior.

If you struggle with your inner critic or blame, and burden, and would like to learn how to break negative thinking patterns, feel free to reach out to our team of professionals at Olive Branch Counseling Associates. We are located at 6819 167th St, Tinley Park, IL 60477 (708) 633-8000.

Mariana Rodriguez, Graduate Intern, 2025.

Reference:

Caldwell, C. (2018). Getting our bodies back: Recovery, embodiment, and self-compassion. Shambhala Publications.

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