Getting Our Bodies Back Blog Series: Feedback Versus Criticism Pt. 5

We now turn to another important section of the book: Feedback versus Criticism. Caldwell explores how our interpretation of the world and others shapes both our reactions and our perceptions. Feedback describes a situation as it is and invites awareness and understanding, whereas criticism often triggers feelings of shame, defensiveness, and withdrawal. We will delve deeper into feedback and criticism, recognizing the difference between the two and how they can help us build healthier relationships, not only with others but also with ourselves.

Feedback

Feedback includes an explanation of what is happening in the moment or what you are feeling in the moment. Feedback involves: being descriptive, being value-neutral, having no agenda, providing multiple options, and being growth-affirming. Feedback is information that supports awareness, growth, and connection. It is offered with curiosity and care, allowing the body to stay present and regulated. We allow a situation or a person to just be themselves and we receive it without judgment or criticism.

Criticism

Criticism is a more rigid and biased approach. Criticism is interpretive, judgmental, has an agenda, and reduces options. When we assume things before they happen, we lose the ability to stay present and open to new perspectives. Viewing others through a critical lens creates distance and misunderstanding, making it harder to build meaningful and authentic relationships.

Example of Feedback versus Criticism

Criticism: Ana is always late to our lunch dates, she probably does not take me seriously, or maybe she does not like me. It reminds me of when my mom was always late to everything!

Descriptive: I notice that Ana has been late to our recent lunch dates. I am going to ask her if everything is ok. And mention to her that I feel uncomfortable waiting alone.

In the criticism example, Jane jumps to conclusions, thinking that Ana does not like her, and starts assuming. In the descriptive example, Jane notices Ana being late and will check if everything is ok while also validating her own uncomfortable feelings while she waits alone.

Conclusion:

Understanding the difference between descriptive feedback and criticism is an important step in improving communication and relationships. Adopting a more descriptive approach can lead to a greater emotional awareness and more effective interactions. If you would like support or to learn how to apply these skills in your relationships, feel free to reach out to our team of professionals at Olive Branch Counseling Associates. We are located at 6819 167th St, Tinley Park, IL 60477 (708) 633-8000.

Mariana Rodriguez, Graduate Intern, 2025.

Reference:

Caldwell, C. (2018). Getting our bodies back: Recovery, embodiment, and self-compassion. Shambhala Publications.

​

​

​