Don’t Give Up On Change!

Is there something in your life you’d like to change? Would you like to improve your diet? Reduce your carb intake? Maybe you’ve been promising yourself you’ll start going to the gym, or that you’ll stop scrolling before bedtime so you can get to sleep more easily. Have your friends been telling you that you need to quit smoking? Have you decided it’s time to deal with your drinking problem?

Sometimes people have a great desire to make changes in their lives, but they don’t know where to start. Or they can stick with a new choice for a few days, weeks, or even months, but eventually their motivation fizzles out. Making changes that last can be difficult, and the frustration of repeated failures may lead you to consider giving up. Well, don’t give up on change! How do people do it? Change may be more complex than you think. Most people don’t just decide to give up a behavior or adopt a new one and accomplish it immediately or without a hitch.

Change is a process that takes time and mental work. Researchers, Prochaska and DiClemente, developed an explanation of how change works called the transtheoretical model of change, also called the stages of change model. They observed that people can go through 6 stages on their way to long lasting behavioral change. The stages are easy to understand and intuitive. Knowing more about the nature of change can help us through the process and encourage us not to give up.

Here’s a brief look at the 6 stages of behavioral change:

Precontemplation: You have no intention of making a change. You ignore the problem or deny a problem exists.

Contemplation: You begin to recognize there’s a problem but you are ambivalent and indecisive about committing to change. You weigh the pros and cons of continuing your present problematic behavior. 

Preparation: You acknowledge the need for change and make a commitment to achieving it. You gather information to formulate a plan for change.

Action: You put your plan into action, taking concrete steps toward your goal. You consider triggers for potential relapse and develop a plan to deal with them.

Maintenance: You have maintained the behavioral change for more than 6 months and are becoming confident that you will not return to your previous behavior. You remind yourself of your progress and your motivation for change. You are becoming especially good at anticipating triggers for relapse and following a contingency plan.

Termination: This stage occurs rarely because it means that you never falter from your new behavioral goal. An example might be automatically putting your seatbelt on every time you get into the car. You may do that consistently, but forget once when you’re distracted. No one is perfect.

Things to remember:

– Change is a process. It takes time to accomplish.

– Change is not easy. It can be frustrating or uncomfortable.

– Relapse to previous behaviors may be part of your process of change. These are not failures. They are opportunities to identify triggers and rework your contingency plan for managing them.

Many people only consider change to be the action of making the change. The stages of change model shows that change is much more than that. There is a lot of mental work to be done to prepare for change and to maintain it long-term. So, when you’ve decided you want to make a change, keep these principles in mind. You might also consider getting some help from a peer support group or through counseling. Above all, don’t give up!

For more help with making changes or to speak with a professional counselor about any mental health concerns, please contact Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc. at 708-633-8000. We are located at 6819 167^th St. in Tinley Park, IL 60477, offering in-person and telehealth appointments. We are here to be of service to you.

Molly V.

Graduate Intern, 2025

Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc.

Reference:

Raihan, N., & Cogburn, M. (2023, March 6). Stages of Change Theory. PubMed; StatPearls Publishing. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK556005/