Many parents look forward to their children growing up and leaving their home. Although it sounds like a time of freedom and rediscovery, it also comes with many challenges and changes that parents might not be aware of until the time comes. Parents might feel anxious at the thought of their children leaving the house and worry about them succeeding in life. The dynamic of the household completely changes, especially if the focus of the parents is their children. Once the nest is empty, there are no more power struggles, cooking and cleaning for their children. Even though this sounds like something to look forward to, the home might also feel empty and for parents they might feel a mix of emotions from lack of purpose, anxiety and depression. It is good to prepare for an empty nest so the parents do not get stuck in feelings of loss or depression and can feel confident when their adult sons and/or daughters leave home. Here is a list of pros and cons of empty nesting.
Cons:
- Feeling a lack of purpose. This is a normal feeling, and it can take time to adjust to an empty nest. Especially if you were very active in your kid’s life. Give this feeling time and do not judge yourself for it or try to suppress it. Talk to a friend, spouse or family member for support.
- Grief and depression. Home might feel empty and quiet, and this can make you feel sad and lonely. This feeling might linger or come up in different ways, it is important to be compassionate and patient with yourself during moments of grief and depression.
- Self-Worth: you might feel low self-worth if your focus was on your child. It is important to remind yourself that this feeling is also normal and part of adjusting.
- Anxiety: you might feel anxious about how your adult son or daughter is doing or if they are ok. It is important to start letting go of always wanting to know if they are ok and to build trust in their independence.
Pros:
- Changing the relationship dynamic with your kids. This can relieve the pressure of power struggles or control, instead you can enjoy hearing about their life and continue to improve communication and connection with them.
- Independence and flexibility. You might not have the time to do the things you enjoy or to travel, this can be a time to create new projects or pick up new hobbies or connect with new and old friends.
- Rediscover yourself. This can be a fresh start to explore things you like or that you are curious about. This can be yoga, signing up to the gym or gardening. Self-discovery can also be connecting to your spirituality, this can be going to church, praying, or meditation and connecting with nature.
- Focus on your relationship. If you have a significant other, it can be a good time to reconnect and deepen your relationship.
Overall, empty nesting can be a challenging but also fulfilling time. It is natural for many emotions to arise during this transition. It is important to pay attention to these feelings and emotions and to not get stuck in them and embrace the benefits and the positive changes of this new stage. Afterall, it can be deeply rewarding to see your adult son and or daughters move forward with their lives. The goal is to find a sense of accomplishment in knowing that you raised independent and capable adults.
If you would like to talk to prepare for empty nesting or are struggling with the transition, feel free to contact Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc. on 708-633-8000. We are located at: 6819-167 th St. in Tinley Park, Illinois 60477.
Mariana R. Graduate Intern, 2025.
Reference:
CounselingMatters.live 
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