Stinking Thinking

We don’t realize how much our thoughts affect us emotionally, mentally, behaviorally and physically. The thoughts or narrative we have about ourselves will either propel us in life or limit us from building relationships with self and others. I like to say it’s the story we tell ourselves about ourselves. In technical terms this is known as core beliefs. Core Beliefs as defined by Therapist Aid.com is ” Core beliefs are a person’s most central ideas about themselves, others, and the world. These beliefs act like a lens through which every situation and life experience is seen. Because of this, people with different core beliefs might be in the same situation, but think, feel, and behave very differently.”

Experiencing childhood trauma can change our thought process by making these core beliefs negative about ourselves.  Our thoughts are filtered through our past pain, abuse, neglect, rejection after childhood abuse. We then see ourselves through a distorted lense that will always magnify our faults & failures. This begins the cycle of negative core beliefs that confirm “I’m not good enough, I’m a screw up, No one will ever want me, I’m no good, etc.” When we allow these thoughts to take over they bring on emotional distress such as anger, depression, anxiety, fear, constant worry, ruminating thoughts, paranoia, etc.” We see the world and others as not being safe or as a threat. Then our behaviors change to match what we are feeling. If I’m angry I’m going to fight back, if I’m sad I’m going to isolate, If I’m fearful I’m going to hide, if I’m worried I’m going to focus on my anxiety. Can you see how this can stunt growth within ourselves and in relationships?

Throughout my lifetime I’ve seen how having this negative narrative corrupts lives. If you find yourself thinking “I’m not good enough, I don’t need anyone, I’m a horrible person, etc.” This is a narrative that you’ve taken on as your core belief system. I would like to tell you today that it’s a bold-faced lie! You are more than enough. You need people to grow,share and dream with. You are not the trauma you are experiencing. In fact the trauma is a part of your story but not the end all be all. .  

In Nancy Lee Demoss’s book “Lies women believe and the truth that sets them free.” Nancy wrote  “Once  you listen to the lie, you then believe the lie, then you act on the lie, then the lie becomes your truth.” (paraphrase). Simply said the lie becomes your truth as to who you are and how the world operates. Changing from a negative core belief system is difficult however obtainable. 

Let’s journey together to dismantle the lies that have held you back from living a life of purpose. 

“Together We Thrive”

Consuelo Serbia, LPC, C-DBT, C-TP

consuelos@olivebranchcounselingassociates.com

765-665-6971