Documenting Signs of Domestic Abuse in Your Relationship

If you suspect you are in or find yourself in an abusive domestic relationship, you are encouraged to document instances of this abuse. Documenting instances of abuse will provide proof of this abuse should you ever need it in the future for legal reasons. Documenting is also a useful tool that helps you process the experience of abuse, validate your experience of the abuse, and begin to identify patterns of abuse within your relationship. If the abuse goes undocumented, it’s physical evidence can disappear, the details surrounding the incident can become blurry, and what is said afterwards by the partner about the incident can alter our memory or perception of the experience of past abuse.

How can you document instances of abuse? If you are physically injured, seek medical attention. Doing so is encouraged even if there is no visible evidence of injury. This is especially important if you have been choked or strangled. Document your physical injuries with photos, no matter how small the injury. If there is property damage or material items thrown or overturned, take photos as well. If you worry about keeping photos of injury or damage in your own possession, reach out to a trusted family member or friend to keep these photos safe for you. In addition to any photos, keep notes about the incident including dates, times, and description of what occurred. In these descriptions, try to include statements that you, your partner, or witnesses made during, before, or after the abuse. It is ideal to file a police report, but this is only if you believe it is safe for you to do so at the time.

Today, abuse can often take place through texts, phone calls, or social media. Unfortunately, abuse that takes place through technology can be deleted or altered. It is ideal to print out evidence of digital abuse as soon as possible prior to it being deleted or altered if you intend to use it for legal purposes. When printing out emails, make sure the printout includes sender, date, time, and recipient of the email. To print out text messages or call logs, take pictures either through screenshots or from another phone that can be sent through email to be printed. If printing out text messages, make sure the phone number, contact name, date, and time can be seen in the message. Voicemails with evidence of abuse are encouraged to be saved and possibly forwarded to another number. If you do not have a computer or printer or do not want to use your own computer or printer, you may seek assistance from your local public library, friends, family, or a community organization. For further information and assistance on documentation of abuse in your relationship, please visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s website at thehotline.org. I also encourage you to call 1.800.799.7233 or text “START”, to 88788.

If you would like to speak to a professional counselor or psychologist about documenting domestic violence or domestic violence and reside in Illinois, please contact Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc. at 708-633-8000. We are located at 6819 West 167^th Street in Tinley Park, Illinois 60477.

Hillary R.,

Masters Level Intern, 2024

Sources –

Documenting abuse. The Hotline. (2021, October 29). https://www.thehotline.org/resources/documenting-abuse/