Let me set the scene. You are out with your friends for happy hour on a Friday night. Everyone has worked hard and is eager to relax and let loose. One of your friends, on top of having a rough work week, has also recently experienced some personal stress. Perhaps they went through a breakup or are dealing with some financial issues. Either way, you notice that they are drinking faster than most of the group. Perhaps they are encouraging rounds of shots or others to keep their pace in drinking. Their behavior seems atypical for their character, and you decide to keep an eye on them.
Unfortunately, their excess drinking continues and before you know it, they appear intoxicated. What does being intoxicated look like in general? It may be that your friend becomes overly friendly. Maybe their speech pattern has changed from quiet to loud or from loud to quiet. Inappropriate or suggestive behavior including flirting may occur. Crude language or aggressive behavior may be exaggerated. They may extend from the group and interact with other patrons or workers in both positive and negative ways. When alcohol reaches the brain, many physical skills become affected. If your friend has a dazed or glassy look, bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, or has trouble maintaining a normal train of thought, they are intoxicated at a level that is harmful.
Many issues can occur when one becomes intoxicated. I encourage you not to leave your friend alone. This is especially true if your friend has reached the point of intoxication where they may have gotten sick in the bathroom or is experiencing loss of coordination. Loss of coordination may look like clumsiness, inability to stand up straight, stumbling, or falling. If your friend falls and is not feeling well, enlist help and turn them on their side in the case that they get sick and vomit. Ideally, it is best to get them out of the bar and home as quickly as possible. This effort should be made with the least amount of force necessary. Forceful situations can easily turn into injurious, criminal, or civil action situations. In your encouragement to get them to leave, it is best not to let outsiders get involved in the matter. Your friend may be willing to hear your suggestions in their intoxicated state, but they may not appreciate feedback from other patrons within the bar.
If your friend agrees that it is time to leave, there are multiple options to help them get home. If they drove themselves to the bar, it is encouraged you speak with the bar manager and ask for permission for your friend to leave their car at the establishment overnight. As many establishments would not want to risk a patron driving home after being overserved, this is a realistic option. You may hold on to your friend’s keys for them overnight. Perhaps you or another member of your group can drive your friend home. Ride share options such as Uber or Lyft are wonderful alternatives, however, if your friend is extremely intoxicated, these situations can be dangerous for both your friend and the driver if your friend is alone in the car. If nothing else, perhaps you can allow your friend to stay at your home for the night.
If your friend does not agree that they need help getting home and insists on driving, your last words to them should be that you will have to call the police because they should not be on the road. This may be hard to say to your friend, but the alternatives are DUI’s, accidents, and death of your friend or other people on the road. Part of drinking responsibly is extending that responsibility to your family members and friends that you are drinking with. After your friend makes it home safely, I encourage you to reach out to them in a day or two and express your concern. It is likely that they are seeking more relief than a happy hour can provide.
If you would like to speak to a professional counselor or psychologist about this and are in the Chicago area, please feel free to contact Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc. at 708-633-8000. We are located at 6819 West 167th Street in Tinley Park, Illinois 60477.
Hillary R.,
Masters Level Intern, 2023
CounselingMatters.live 
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