Men Have Feelings Too.

I remember being really embarrassed about going to therapy when I first started. I was 14 when my mom told me that she had signed me up and I remember even being angry at her for doing so! It’s not because I thought therapy was silly or trivial, but rather because I thought anyone who found out was going to judge me. This was about six years ago now, and in that time the conversations surrounding mental health, particularly in women, have begun flowing significantly more freely. This has really helped me, and likely many others, feel more comfortable in asking for help, but not every group of people has opened up these conversations.

I want to speak particularly of men in this blog. While women have opened up about mental health struggles, particularly in online communities, men haven’t been adorned with the same luxury it seems. Unfortunately, I only really see conversations surrounding men’s mental health when it’s being used as a red herring in another conversation. This conversation is big enough that it should have its own space.

Men’s mental health is swept under the rug far too often and, like anything that is ignored and hidden for too long, it hasn’t gone away and remains a significant problem. According to an article published in the National Library of Medicine, despite men struggling with mental health issues at a lower rate than women, the fatality rate of mental illness among men is about four times higher.

If women have come so far in the conversation surrounding mental health, why has the conversation dragged for men? In a word: society. The intricacies and the history of it all are abounding, but I’ll do my best to be concise with the matter. The norms of masculinity have long emphasized that men are supposed to be tough, dominant, and rigid, and expressing emotions hasn’t found its way into fitting into those norms. Because they are norms, nearly everyone defaults to abiding by them, and those who go against the grain can face ridicule, which further contributes to the stigma. A whole book can be written on the history of masculine norms and likely already has been, so I implore you to look into it further if this is something interesting to you!

The topic of men’s mental health has come a long way, but it still has a long way to go. If you take nothing else from this blog, take this: let it out. It’s good to cry, it’s good to tell people how you feel and to reach out for help. What’s bad is pushing your feelings away because they will come back, potentially affecting your life and the lives of people around you. Feelings are meant to be felt!

Lucy M.

Undergraduate Intern 2023

If you could use additional help dealing with depression and anxiety and live in Illinois, please contact Olive Branch Counseling Associates at 708-633-8000 to schedule an appointment with a counselor.  In person and telehealth appointments are offered.

References

Chatmon BN. Males and Mental Health Stigma. Am J Mens Health. 2020 Jul-Aug;14(4):1557988320949322. doi: 10.1177/1557988320949322. PMID: 32812501; PMCID: PMC7444121