Seeing Beyond the Behavior: A Compassionate Look at Bullying

Bullying is something most of us have witnessed in one form or another. It’s not something that should be swept under the rug, because the lasting scars that come from bullying can follow someone throughout their life if they don’t receive support. Why does bullying exist? According to a Harvard paper by Nissen (2020), bullying doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. It often begins in childhood. Children have a hard time understanding and expressing their emotions, and if they feel stifled in their home environment or by an authority figure, they may take it out on someone they perceive as weaker. This gives them a temporary sense of control.

Bullying doesn’t just affect the victim, who may carry emotional weight for years, anxiety, low self esteem, difficulty trusting others. The bully is also impacted. Early patterns of control, aggression, and impulsivity can follow them into adulthood. If these behaviors aren’t addressed early, they can escalate and may even contribute to criminal behavior later in life.

Steps need to be taken as soon as bullying behavior appears so the damage can be mitigated for both the perpetrator and the potential victim. When a child begins to display disruptive or harmful behavior, it’s important to intervene before it becomes ingrained.

For children who bully, the goal is to reframe their mindset and help them understand that they are responsible for their actions. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be especially helpful. For children who are being bullied, building self esteem and providing emotional support is key.

It’s important to approach this subject with compassion and without judgment. Children learn through the behavior modeled by adults, and the way a child is disciplined can either help or worsen the situation.

Warmly,
 Jennifer Hauser, Undergrad 2026

If you or your child is feeling the impact of bullying,whether they are the bully or the one being bullied, having a safe space to talk, process, and rebuild confidence can make all the difference. Our team at Olive Branch Counseling Associates is here to walk alongside you with compassion and practical tools. You’re welcome to reach out to us at (708) 633‑8000. Our offices are located at 6819 West 167th St., Tinley Park, Illinois 60477.

Reference
 Nissen, P. P. (2020). Bullying behavior: How it begins, the damage it causes, what happens when the bullies and victims age, how bullying behavior can turn into criminal behavior, and the opportunities and tools to stop it.