Oftentimes, our anxiety stems from feeling out of control in certain situations and wishing we could take the reins and make things go the way we want them to. I struggle with severe anxiety and I hate feeling like I do not have control over things in stressful situations. While there are a lot of things I cannot control, there are definitely things in my life that I can control and so do you.
We may not be able to control how people perceive us, what people say about or to us, what others do in a situation, how a situation plays out, or what people believe. We cannot change the past and while we do have control over certain things, we do not have control over what the future has in store for us. However, instead of becoming overwhelmed by thinking about what we cannot control, let’s start thinking about what we can control and how we can control those things.
To start, this is something that a lot of people do not want to hear or accept, but it is a true statement. We can control how we respond to people and our situations. When we say that we cannot control how we respond, we are usually talking about our internal feelings and emotions. However, we can control how we respond outwardly. While we might be mad at someone internally, we can still respond politely and with respect. While a situation may make you feel stressed out, you can respond positively by taking deep breaths, slowing down, and taking it one step at a time.
We can also control what we say to others. We can choose to say rude things to people who may not be the kindest to us, or we can show them kindness through our words and help them increase in positivity. When people say cruel things to other people, they are usually trying to make themselves feel better or superior. In all honesty, that rarely works. But spreading kindness and giving compliments has been scientifically proven to improve self-esteem and it also brings a little sunshine to someone who may be having a hard time.
Lastly, we can choose where we spend our energy. I have been going through some personal trials in my own life, but one of my professors reached out to me and said to me, “Remember, you get to choose where you spend your energy. Spend it where it deserves to be spent.” This was a reminder that I desperately needed to hear at that moment. Instead of spending your energy on people who may not deserve it, spend it on either improving yourself or deepening your personal relationships and friendships. Just make sure what you are spending it on is where it deserves to be spent! You are worthy!
If you are dealing with any stress, anxiety, or other mental health issues and would like to talk to a professional counselor, please contact Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc. at 708-633-8000. We are located at 6819 167th Street in Tinley Park, Illinois 60477. We would be happy to work with you.
Written By: Emme D.
Undergrad Intern 2024
CounselingMatters.live 
Leave a comment