Setting boundaries is a form of self-care, even though we usually think of relaxation techniques or pampering when we think of self-care. However, when you set boundaries in your relationships, you are protecting yourself and caring for yourself. Creating healthy boundaries will allow you to be your own person while still having intimate relationships and it will help improve those relationships. It is important to note that boundaries will vary depending on the situation, location, personality, experiences, and more. Your boundaries will most likely differ between your relationships and will depend on how you want to cultivate those relationships. Here are a few tips on how to efficiently set clear boundaries.
It can be a little uncomfortable when explaining your boundaries to your parents, partner, friends, etc. Nevertheless, is it crucial that you clearly verbalize your expectations within the relationship and how the other person treats you. You want to be concise and specific about what your expectations in a particular relationship are. It is up to the other person whether or not they respect those boundaries. If the other person does not respect your boundaries, even after some clear reminders of what they are, chances are you might want to re-evaluate if they are a good friend or partner to have.
While you may give examples of what you do not like or want in your relationship, it is best to communicate what you do like or want. Conveying your dislikes does not necessarily communicate what you are actually looking for from the other person. They may stop doing the things you do not appreciate, but they may not do what you were actually expecting them to do as they did not receive clear and specific details on what you were looking for. So do not be afraid to state exactly what you are looking for and expecting so you can spare any confusion between the two of you!
Lastly, make sure to stand your ground. You can compromise in the relationship but do not back down from or disregard your boundaries if the other person starts to get upset or uncomfortable. This can be difficult for people-pleasers. However, remind yourself that you are worth being respected and taken seriously. Your needs are important and you should feel safe and respected in your relationships.
If you are struggling with any relationship issues or mental health issues and would like to talk to a professional counselor, please contact Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc. at 708-633-8000. We are located at 6819 167th Street in Tinley Park, Illinois 60477. We would be happy to be of service.
References:
https://positivepsychology.com/great-self-care-setting-healthy-boundaries/
Written By: Emme D.
Undergraduate Intern 2024
CounselingMatters.live 
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