Stages of Grief

Grief, as stated in a previous blog post, is experienced in various ways and lasts for an undetermined amount of time. How vague. It is a highly individualized experience. This sentiment can be confusing for those who are going through the grieving process. You may be thinking, “Give me some kind of timeline for when I will start feeling better.”. While I cannot give you a timeline, I can provide you with the different stages of grief. The stages of grief are not experienced in any specific order, nor do they have expiration dates as to how long they should last. However, they can provide you with a framework to what you can expect from the grieving process.

The stages of grief were first defined in On Death and Dying, by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross. Dr. Kubler Ross developed these stages to organize the commonly experienced complex thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that accompany the grieving process. The stages of grief are specified as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Denial takes place during the part of the grieving process where an individual denies the reality of the loss and the situation. This may look like avoiding conversation about the loss or refusing to acknowledge the loss. Anger often takes place once the reality of the loss is accepted and can be directed at oneself or at others. Anger may appear as an individual blaming oneself for the loss. Anger can also manifest itself as having a shorter temper or less patience than usual. Bargaining is a stage that arises when one feels a loss of control regarding the loss. This stage brings about many questions that will remain unanswered. This may sound like, “What if I could have been there?”, or “God, if you can make this right, I will never doubt you again.”. Depression is the stage where feelings may feel the heaviest. We are no longer protected from the emotional pain that we hold through denial, anger, and bargaining. In the depression stage, individuals may experience changes in sleep, weight, and ability to concentrate, among others.

Acceptance is considered the last stage of the grieving process. An individual reaches this stage when they have made peace with the reality of the experience of their loss. At this stage, an individual may begin to think more positively about memories prior to the loss and begin to move forward again. If you experience symptoms of grief for more than a year’s time, you may be experiencing prolonged grief disorder. Prolonged grief disorder causes great distress and can negatively impact your life in significant ways. It is encouraged you seek support if this is the case.

If you would like to speak to a professional counselor or psychologist about your experience of grief or loss, or have experienced grief symptoms for more than a year, and are in the Chicago area, please feel free to contact Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc. at 708-633-8000. We are located at 6819 West 167^th Street in Tinley Park, Illinois 60477.

Hillary R.,

Masters Level Intern, 2024

Sources –

Fisher, J. (2023, December 12). 5 stages of grief: Coping with the loss of a loved one. Harvard Health. https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/5-stages-of-grief-coping-with-the-loss-of-a-loved-one