Get Over It!  

One day, I was observing my granddaughter play. Her innocence, joy, and vulnerability stood out to me. It brings me joy to say, she has no idea what it is like to go through a traumatic event.  It is my hope and prayer that she never has to experience life through the Lense of trauma.  For a minute I thought, what would it be like to be her? How does she see the world? How does she view people? What does it feel like to play, laugh, and not be afraid?   

Some individuals have not been blessed to have these experiences of being a child. The freedom for them to express what they were feeling was stifled by abuse, neglect, and abandonment. I hear stories of individuals who were shamed for having intense emotions and told to “Get Over It!” It is understood that individuals use this term thinking to encourage & motivate individuals to move past their pain. But this is counterintuitive as it communicates that a person’s feelings are invalid. It communicates that a person’s physiological and emotional response to traumatic events is wrong or that they are flawed.   

There is no such thing as getting over childhood trauma. While early on in life children are resilient and can overcome trauma, trauma later in the child’s life is not that easy. Exposed to the following variables increases the likelihood of becoming an adult child: addiction: emotional, mental, physical abuse: neglect or any form of family dysfunction.  ACA defines an adult child as “someone whose actions and decisions as an adult are guided by childhood experiences grounded in self-doubt or fear.” This may look like someone who experiences angry outbursts, over thinking, perfectionism, people pleasing, fear of authority, lack of adult life skills, the ability to regulate emotion, etc.  

Years ago, I was told to nurture and spend time with my inner child. My immediate thought was “this is ridiculous, I look like a fool.” It was not until later in life that I went to a water park and experienced the water slide. I can still remember the fear that was almost paralyzing as I walked up the slide. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it was going to pop out of my chest.  But then, I went down the slide and it was as if I had come to life. I was laughing, screaming, and filled with tears of joy. It was then I knew and remembered how fun and adventurous I was as a child. I knew then that being happy was not a “bad” thing.    

If you have experienced childhood trauma, I want to tell you that you can live a life of joy, purpose, and freedom. You can overcome childhood trauma. Embrace your inner child. It is okay to give yourself permission to laugh, play and be curious again.   

You are worth it! You deserve it! It is your time to THRIVE!”   

 If you would like to talk about your own inner child, childhood trauma or adult trauma, please contact me to set up an appointment.  

Together we can Thrive!!!! 
Consuelo Serbia, LPC, C-TP, C-DBT 

765-665-6971