For Counselors in Training: Trust Yourself

In January of 2023, I began the application process for a counseling internship. Literally, every single one of my professors told me to start the process as early as possible. My anxiety kicked in. I had left my nearly decade long career to pursue counseling. I had spent the past year and a half learning psychopathology and counseling techniques, but I had yet to step into the ring. What if I got there and it wasn’t for me? What if I wasn’t good at it? I had already sacrificed so much, how was I going to make time in my schedule to see clients on top of everything else? Could I keep my schedule at work? It seemed that the internship application process had brought all these anxious thoughts to a head. I suddenly had so much riding on the next year of my life.

I channeled my anxiety into the application process itself. Which I do not encourage you to do. Instead of being excited for this next chapter, it felt like a huge weight on my shoulders. It was a chore. Instead of trusting in myself, God, and the Universe that everything would work out for the best, I doubted myself every step of the way. The irony in all of this is that in my previous career, I was a recruiter. I interviewed people for a living! I suppose it was not the interviewing process I feared. It was the rejection.

Yes, I have a fear of being rejected. I am sure there is not a human being on this earth that enjoys it. However, rejection hits different for me. It hits harder. I take it personal. I associate being accepted with my personal self-worth. I can give you a hundred theories as to why I operate this way. At the end of the day though, the theories don’t really matter. What matters is that I still do it and the negative effect that it has on my life. The application process for internship made me realize how much of a problem this still is for me as an adult in my early thirties.

 Clearly, as you read this, you may be realizing everything worked out quite well. I ended up at a phenomenal internship site that suits me perfectly. However, I would not have found my perfect site unless I had been rejected a few times. Yes, those rejections were painful. Although looking back now, I am so grateful for the rejection! It led me to where I am today and to who I am on my way to becoming. When I told my supervisor that my interview with her, “wasn’t my best performance”, my supervisor responded with something that has stayed with me. “It’s not supposed to be a performance”. Trust yourself during your internship application process. Be yourself. If you do those things, you will find the perfect internship site to suit both you and your needs.

If you would like to speak to a professional counselor or psychologist about this and are in the Chicago area, please feel free to contact Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc. at 708-633-8000. We are located at 6819 West 167^th Street in Tinley Park, Illinois 60477.

Hillary R.,

Masters Level Intern, 2024