Making Major Decisions

Each day we are asked to make many decisions, both big and small. The impact of the choices we make can vary from little to no impact on our lives to catastrophically changing the course of our lives in positive or negative ways. Perhaps the smaller decisions are easier to make for most people. “Which flavor should I ask the Dunkin’ barista to add to my coffee this morning?” or, “Should I bring a sweater to work today?”. Every so often though, we must make the bigger decisions. “Should I break-up with my partner?” or, “Should I start looking for a new job?”. These major life decisions can be overwhelming to consider. The mere thought of such a drastic change is likely to evoke an emotional response.

                What is the right choice? How will you know if you have made the right decision? Is making the wrong decision worth losing what you have right now?”. I get it. I have been there. When I reached a point in my previous career where I was no longer having fun, I was faced with a major decision. “Should I stay, or should I go?”. The Clash clearly experienced making a major decision, although theirs was seemingly regarding a relationship. It took me about four months to make an actual decision. When I did make the decision to “go”, I was still unsure whether that was the right decision. For a few weeks afterwards I was terrified by the decision I made, although there was a big part of me that felt undeniably free to be me again. As time passed, I moved forward with more confidence in the decision, and eventually it felt right.

                If you are faced with making a major decision, I encourage you to follow a few steps to help you get there. First, list your options. Second, identify your values. How do your values relate to the decision you need to make? Third, explore what choice will best correlate with your strongest values. I am making this sound incredibly easy. We all know that it is not. Getting feedback from family and friends may seem like a good idea, and it can be. However, your support systems often have biases of their own. While they likely want you to live your best life, they do not actually have to live your life, nor do they have to live with the consequences of your decision. Or perhaps they will be directly impacted by the decision you make in which case they may be extremely biased in their opinion of your major decision.

                If you find it difficult to make a major life decision on your own, counseling can be a helpful tool in your process. A counselor can support you as you grapple with making this major decision in a professional and unbiased way.

If you would like to speak to a professional counselor or psychologist about this and are in the Chicago area, please feel free to contact Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc. at 708-633-8000. We are located at 6819 West 167^th Street in Tinley Park, Illinois 60477.

Hillary R.,

Masters Level Intern, 2023

Sources –

Hill, C. E. (2020). Skills for Exploring Thoughts and Narratives. In Helping skills: Facilitating exploration, insight, and action (pp. 398 – 405). essay, American Psychological Association.