Boundaries

Boundaries. What are they and why are they important? While most adults are familiar with the concept of having boundaries, not all have taken the time to define their own. A boundary can be described as setting a clear expectation for the behavior you will accept from other people and the behavior that other people can expect from you. Establishing boundaries helps us to protect ourselves and others from emotional turmoil that often occurs when expectations for one another are unclear.

The boundaries we establish may change based upon our settings. It is likely one would employ stricter boundaries within their professional environment but would loosen those boundaries when out to dinner with friends. Culture certainly plays a role in how we understand boundaries. What is appropriate in one culture may be improper in another. What is important to recognize is that boundaries vary from person to person. We can only define our own boundaries. We cannot set boundaries for other people to operate from. What is comfortable for one person may not be comfortable for another. There is nothing wrong with that. Respecting each other’s boundaries allows us to acknowledge what behavior is acceptable between ourselves and another person and choose to interact within those parameters. 

As stated, healthy boundaries look different for everyone. To get started, define for yourself how you wish to behave with others. What is your comfort level for physical interaction? Do prefer to great your friends with a hug? Maybe physical touch is uncomfortable for you. How much information are you open to sharing with others? What information should you keep private or only share with those you are very close with? Are you confident in telling people ‘No’? Can you accept when someone else tells you ‘No’? Identifying what you value is a great place to start.

If you would like to speak to a professional counselor or psychologist about this and are in the Chicago area, please feel free to contact Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc. at 708-633-8000. We are located at 6819 West 167^th Street in Tinley Park, Illinois 60477.

Hillary R.,

Masters Level Intern, 2023