When we care for someone we want to help them because that may be the way we can show them we care about them. When we care for someone so much we sometimes enable them and we think we are helping them. It’s normal to want to help anyone, but it’s not OK to enable them. Below I wrote some ways in which we enable each other:
- Excusing the negative choices
- Not having boundaries
- Finding their solutions
- Doing things for them
- Dismissing that someone has a problem
When we help someone, we may not be conscious about actually enabling the individual because we think of it as “one less thing they need to do.” However, we have to allow for others to grow to their full potential. Think of helping as doing something for someone that they are not capable of doing. While enabling is doing something for someone that they can and should be doing on their own.
If you or anyone you know may be in need of someone to talk to and live in the Chicagoland area, feel free to call Olive Branch Counseling Associates at (708) 633-8000 and speak to a professional.
Yadira, Graduate Intern