Letting Go of My Ex

Breaking up with a partner can be an incredibly challenging and emotionally draining experience. As someone who has personally gone through the process of letting go of an ex, I understand the rollercoaster of emotions that accompany it. For this reason,  I wanted to share my journey and offer some practical tips on how to let go of your ex and embrace healing, allowing yourself to move forward.

      Acknowledge and Accept Your Emotions. The first step in letting go is acknowledging and accepting your emotions. It’s normal to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and confusion. Allow yourself to experience these emotions fully, without judgment. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the relationship and understand that healing is a process that takes time. I found myself crying and feeling a deep sense of loss after the breakup. I felt like a part of me was missing and now I had so much time in my hands that I found myself struggling to figure out what to do with it. Instead of suppressing these emotions, though, I allowed myself to cry and journal about my feelings, which helped me acknowledge and accept them. During this period, I encourage you to prioritize self-care to nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, practice mindfulness or meditation, exercise regularly, and surround yourself with supportive friends and family. I started going for walks in nature and indulging in hobbies that I had neglected during the relationship. These activities helped me reconnect with myself and rediscover my passions.

      Create Space and Distance. To let go of your ex, it’s important to create space and distance between you. This may involve unfollowing them on social media or even temporarily cutting off contact. Taking this step allows you to detach emotionally and gain clarity. Some people decide to unfollow their ex on social media and limit their interactions. It can be challenging at first, but it helps individuals focus on their own healing and prevents them from constantly dwelling on the past. Maybe this isn’t something you needed to do, but perhaps deleting the pictures of your partner and you is far more beneficial than unfollowing them on social media. With this, I encourage you to shift your perspective from dwelling on the past to focusing on the future. Instead of fixating on what went wrong or what could have been, embrace the lessons learned from the relationship. Recognize that this breakup is an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. I made a conscious effort to reframe my thoughts and focus on the positive aspects of my life. I started setting new goals and envisioning the future I wanted for myself, which gave me a sense of hope and excitement. I knew I could do life on my own because I had been doing it alone before I met this individual. Believe in yourself and the journey you will conquer ahead. 

      Seek Support. Remember that you don’t have to go through this process alone. Reach out to friends, family, or even a therapist who can provide guidance and support. Talking about your feelings and experiences with a trusted confidant can be incredibly healing. I confided in a close friend while others may seek professional therapy, speak to their parents or a loved one. Having someone to listen without judgment and provide guidance helped me gain a fresh perspective and navigate through the challenges of letting go.

      After all, letting go of an ex is a journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and time. By acknowledging your emotions, creating space for healing, and focusing on self-care,  you can gradually heal and open yourself up to new possibilities. Remember, letting go doesn’t mean forgetting; it means making space for new beginnings and personal growth. There is a possibility that you may not find yourself struggling to let go of your ex-partner, but maybe it’s a toxic friendship that needs to be restored or cut off. I encourage you to look past your present and reflect on what kind of life you want to live and let that thought give you wings to fly towards your goal. 

Written by: Rachel Garcia; Masters Level Intern at Olive Branch

If you need support, live in the Chicago area, and would like to speak to a professional counselor, please contact Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc. at 708-633-8000. We are located at 6819 West 167th Street in Tinley Park, Illinois 60477.