Think Win/Win

Up to this point each of the habits have focused on personal mindset and things that you can do yourself to make yourself more effective. These tips are all important to take to heart, but they are the foundations upon which we prepare ourselves for an interdependent world. As easy as it would be to just worry about ourselves and let everything else fall into place, that’s not how the world works. The reality is that we are constantly in an open dialogue with the world around us and we need to learn how to most effectively interact with it. This requires making deals and compromising.

There are many different approaches to making deals. In this chapter Covey takes the reader through six paradigms of interaction: Win/Win, Win/Lose, Lose/Win, Lose/Lose, Win, and Win/Win or No Deal. Each of these paradigms are discussed at length in Covey’s book, but for the sake of brevity I will simply provide an overview:

• Win/Win: seeks mutual benefit for all parties
• Win/Lose: a common approach in society, authoritarian, “If I win, you lose.”
• Lose/Win: the approach of a martyr, giving up control so another person can win
• Lose/Lose: not often done on purpose, the result of revenge-seeking
• Win: disregarding all other parties, no competition
• Win/Win or No Deal: this is the same as Win/Win but adds the option to back out if an agreement can’t be reached

After reading each of the points, it seems clear that Win/Win is the ideal. In the perfect circumstance, everyone wins all the time. This is much easier said than done. Covey lists out what it takes to achieve Win/Win consistently: high courage and high consideration. We need to truly believe that what we desire is valuable and worth fighting for, but also be conscious of what the other party is searching for and value that just as much. Only when we see the value in our desires and therefore have the motivation to work out a solution can we achieve Win/Win.

The thing is that we won’t always have the ideal circumstances. Sometimes taking the route of another paradigm is a better way to go. Maybe a crisis has occurred and considering the win or loss of another party would only waste time; then go for a Win. Maybe what you desire isn’t as important as your relationship with the other party; then concede and try a Lose/Win. Each of the paradigms may need to be utilized at some point or another and that’s not a bad thing! Just because something is the “best” option doesn’t mean it’s the only option.

What I found to be the most important takeaway from this chapter was Covey’s point about courage and consideration. I find it so easy to neglect one for the other, but that’s not how it has to be. Your opinions and your desires are valuable, and so are theirs, whoever “they” may be. It may take the most effort for everyone to get what they want, but it’s a healthy habit to establish and will make you more effective in the end.

References

Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. Simon & Schuster, 2020.

Lucy M.

Undergraduate Intern 2023

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