Habit 1 – Be Proactive

The mind is an incredibly powerful tool. It makes us think, makes us feel, makes us act, and above all keeps us alive.  The silly thing about the mind, however, is that it is easily corrupted. It’s very easy to fall into a habit of blaming outside circumstances for inaction or frustration, but Stephen Covey argues that that is a breakable habit in this chapter. He argues that establishing a habit of proactivity allows us to take control of our responses to external conditions and ultimately, as the title notes, become more effective as people.

Proactivity, to Covey, is not far off from responsibility. In fact, responsibility plays a huge role in proactivity. He contrasts proactivity with reactivity, rather than procrastination (as I’ve most often heard) and says that proactivity means that “we are responsible for our own lives” (Covey, 78). Our circumstances do not determine our behavior, but rather our decisions. We alone have the power to respond to our conditions, and because of that we alone have the power to choose how we respond.

My dad used to always tell me something along those lines. “You can’t control what’s around you, but you can control how you respond to it.” Even though I knew he had my best interest in mind, it always used to upset me when he said that. I think it’s because the idea that he and Covey are trying to portray is so much bigger and needs more explanation than just a single sentence. This sentence alone doesn’t acknowledge that there are things in our control, and I also always thought it was trying to convince me to not feel upset when things don’t go as planned.

Covey takes the time to really get into the intricacies of this statement. He uses a model he calls the Circle of Concern/Circle of Influence. Unlike that single statement my dad used to tell me, this model notes that there are things in our control. There are of course still some things in our circle of concern that are out of our control, but within our circle of concern lies our circle of influence. This circle of influence describes the things we are worried about that we do have influence over. Covey uses an example of a boss at work that doesn’t listen to his employees and just tells them what to do and when to do it. One of this boss’s employees noted that he couldn’t directly confront the boss, but could work slowly to earn his trust. This employee took note of where his boss fell short and worked to make up for those weaknesses, explaining every suggestion and action he made in terms that the boss would be partial to. Over time, this boss noted the employee’s reasons and work, and began to listen to him. The employee expanded his circle of influence, which then shrunk the area of his circle of concern where he had no power.

Even though some things will remain within our circle of concern but outside our circle of influence, we can always choose how we respond to our circumstances. There are steps we can take to expand our control over conditions, but even where we can’t directly influence a situation we can choose how we will navigate it going forward. You are the only person who can control how you respond. It’s a big responsibility and it can sound daunting, but it is ultimately a freedom that only humans possess. Don’t take it for granted!

References

Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. Simon & Schuster, 2020.

Lucy M.

Undergraduate Intern 2023

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