An Attitude of Gratitude

Years ago, I found myself at a very low point. First, my boyfriend broke up with me. Later that same month, my dog passed away. The next month, my stove broke. The same week my stove broke, my car failed the emissions test. It was time to let the car go and purchase a new one. All these things happened right after I received a promotion at work. The new role included a new office and new team members. I was angry. I had finally reached a personal goal. It felt like as soon as I reached this new milestone, all these other things were taken away from me. It felt like life wanted me to struggle. It felt like I was being told I didn’t deserve to be happy. It felt like these things were karma for something I had done in a past life. What was going on?

I needed help. I spoke to someone I am spiritually affiliated with. I told them all my problems and what had occurred over the past few months. I further explained that I felt like I was being punished for reaching a new level of success. Very calmly they asked me, “What are you grateful for?”. I must be honest. In that moment, I could not come up with one thing.

In response to my silence, I was encouraged to try something new in the weeks ahead. Before I got out of bed each morning, I would practice gratitude. When I woke up, I should breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. I was to do this 7 times. Then, I was directed to think about the things I was grateful for. If I had trouble getting started, I was told to think about the things I could feel around me. Think about your bed, the sunlight hitting your face, blah, blah, blah. It sounded like a waste of time. However, I was so desperate to get out of this hole, I was willing to try anything.

So, the next morning when I woke up, I started gratitude training. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. Oops my mind wandered. Do I start over? What am I grateful for? Nothing. Ok let’s think about our bed. I am grateful to have a bed. My best friend’s dad gave me this mattress when he moved. Never used. I was sleeping on my mom’s mattress from before she met my dad. I am grateful for this bed. It was a rocky start, but I kept at it. In time, I started doing my gratitude training at night too before I fell asleep.

I trained hard for a few months. I was a gratitude machine. I had so much to be grateful for! My life was suddenly awesome. I had such an amazing adventure here on earth so far. I met so many fantastic people. What a gift to wake up every day and live my life. The funny thing is my life had not changed at all. My perspective is what changed. The bad stuff had still happened to me. And bad things continued to happen every so often. Instead of counting all my losses though, I started counting all my blessings. And I keep counting.

If you would like to speak to a professional counselor or psychologist about this and are in the Chicago area, please feel free to contact Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc. at 708-633-8000. We are located at 6819 West 167^th Street in Tinley Park, Illinois 60477.

Written By: Hillary R., Masters Level Intern 2023