Parenting is one of the most important jobs in the world. Every parent hopes their child will grow up to be confident, independent, and successful, but the path to that outcome often feels uncertain. Over the years, psychologists have studied how different approaches to parenting affect children’s growth. The results show that how we parent matters just as much as what we teach.
The Four Parenting Styles
Researchers have identified four main parenting styles. Each is shaped by how much warmth and support parents show, and how much structure and discipline they provide.
- Authoritarian Parenting – Strict and rule-focused. Parents expect obedience and may use punishment but offer little explanation or flexibility.
- Permissive Parenting – Warm and accepting, but with few boundaries. Children often have freedom without much guidance.
- Uninvolved Parenting – Low in both warmth and expectations. Parents provide little structure or support.
- Authoritative Parenting – A balanced approach. Parents set clear rules and expectations but also explain their reasoning, listen to their children, and encourage independence.
Why Authoritative Parenting Stands Out
Of these four, authoritative parenting consistently produces the best outcomes for children. Unlike authoritarian parents who focus mainly on control, authoritative parents combine structure with understanding. Instead of saying, “Because I said so,” they explain why rules matter, which helps children learn responsibility and self-discipline. A well-known study by Steinberg, Elmen, and Mounts (1989) showed that teenagers with authoritative parents were more mature, self-reliant, and successful in school compared to teens raised by authoritarian or permissive parents. The key difference was that authoritative parents encouraged independence while still setting firm boundaries.
Benefits That Last Into Adulthood
The positive effects of authoritative parenting don’t stop in childhood. A long-term study by Luyckx and colleagues (2011) followed children for 12 years and found that those with authoritative parents were less likely to struggle with problems such as substance use, antisocial behavior, or anxiety as they grew older. This shows that the skills children learn in an authoritative household, like regulating emotions, making good choices, and respecting rules, carry into adult life. Children raised this way tend to feel supported but also capable of standing on their own. They practice independence in a safe environment, learning to solve problems and handle challenges. These are the very qualities that help people succeed in college, careers, and relationships later on.
The Takeaway
Research shows that children thrive when parents use an authoritative approach. By combining warmth with structure, parents give their children both the confidence to try new things and the guidance to stay on track. If the goal is to raise competent, independent, and happy adults, authoritative parenting provides the strongest foundation. It prepares children not just to follow rules, but to understand them, apply them, and eventually create their own healthy boundaries as they grow into adulthood.
If you’d like to learn more about successful parenting, call Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc. to sign up for our upcoming Parenting Class, starting in October. For help with any mental health concerns, contact us to speak with a professional counselor at 708-633-8000. We are located at 6819 167th St. in Tinley Park, IL 60477. We offer in-person and telehealth appointments. It is our pleasure to be of service to you.
Molly V.
Graduate Intern, 2025
Olive Branch Counseling Associates, Inc.
References:
Luyckx, K., Tildesley, E. A., Soenens, B., Andrews, J. A., Hampson, S. E., Peterson, M., & Duriez, B. (2011). Parenting and trajectories of children’s maladaptive behaviors: A 12-year prospective community study. Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology, 40(3), 468–478. https://doi.org/10.1080/15374416.2011.563470
Steinberg, L., Elmen, J. D., & Mounts, N. S. (1989). Authoritative parenting, psychosocial maturity, and academic success among adolescents. Child Development, 60(6), 1424–1436. https://doi.org/10.2307/1130932
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