You may have heard the words, “Quit being so defensive!” Hearing this statement can feel challenging because you may not even see an error in the way you responded. You may also have been responding in this way most of your life. Defensiveness is not a character flaw; rather, it ought to be looked at... Continue Reading →
Anxiety: Lie #2 “There is something wrong with you!”
Anxiety can make you feel physically awful. We often feel a tightening in our chest, or maybe our hands get sweaty? Some people feel their stomachs start to rumble or toss and turn. Other times anxiety can squeeze our shoulders or feel like something is banging on our brains, and it feels like our head... Continue Reading →
Do you know yourself?
I’ll admit I am a daily user of Facebook and Instagram. I have a love/hate relationship with social media. For years it has been the source of my income, and social media has helped me connect with interesting people from my past and people I’ve never met from all over the world. I’ve learned much... Continue Reading →
Body Positivity
I have to tell you about a song I heard this week. It's been playing inside my head on repeat, free of charge. I first saw the video linked on one of my favorite Instagram influencers. As I watched the video and listened to the lyrics, I had a strong physical reaction and felt tears... Continue Reading →
Call 988 For Help
There is hope if you or a loved one is experiencing a suicidal crisis, emotional distress, or a substance abuse crisis. You can now call 988 and be instantly connected to a network of local crisis centers that provide free and confidential emotional support. On July 16, The National Suicide Hotline went live and is... Continue Reading →
Does the Race or Ethnicity of the Therapist Matter?
As an African-Caribbean-American man who has felt as if I must be aware of my backgrounds at every turn, my experience as a counseling intern has been no exception. It has therefore, left me to wonder the extent to which, and how, the race and ethnicity of the therapist matter to clients. A few months... Continue Reading →
Can a Behavior be an Addiction?
In a previous blog I asked if someone could be addicted to being at a bar. I presented the example where Bert, a teenager was at a bar named Water Bar in my birth Caribbean village of Trafalgar, Dominica. Bert accused one of the adult men who was waiting outside the bar with him before... Continue Reading →
Control is the Problem; Not the Solution
Many therapists use a framework called acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), which suggests that “control is the problem; not the solution.” Attempting to control our environments, emotions, internal experiences, or other people can temporarily alleviate discomfort or anxiety, but it does not provide sustainable relief. Rather, it creates a cycle of trying to do something... Continue Reading →
Is it True? Is it Kind? Is it Necessary?
You are in the middle of a conversation with a friend at a local coffee shop. You haven’t seen each other in weeks, and you can’t wait to dish on the latest things happening. Or, you are in the middle of an argument with your significant other, and you just need to shut them up.... Continue Reading →
